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In MTV's "If You Really Knew Me," we learn this hand signal is the international sign for Love.


My name is Laura Houd, I am a psychology student at the University of Colorado in Boulder. I hope to someday become a successful therapist by helping people strive for the best and happiest lives possible.

This past summer, a new series aired on MTV called “If You Really Knew Me.” It is a real-life show about the judgment and segregation that goes on between high school cliques around the country. The goal is to break down the barriers between these cliques and change the way they view and treat each other. In each episode, students are split into small groups and share the sometimes-difficult truths about their lives. The kids are surprised by the compelling stories they hear, and begin to understand that it’s not fair to judge someone by the way they look or act.
I believe there is a story behind every face.
When I was a senior in high school I went on a 3-day retreat called Kairos with forty or so girls from my class. About seven of these girls were our “leaders” who had experienced Kairos the previous year. We ate meals and played games as a whole group, and each day a few of the leaders would stand up and tell their stories. Since I went to a small all-girls private high school, I knew some of these girls pretty well. I was shocked to learn some of the things they had gone through in their lives. Some had experienced the death of a loved one; others had experiences with drugs, abuse, or even thoughts of suicide. Listening to each girl tell her story made me question whether I had ever judged them. Maybe they were rude to me once, or acted strange in some way? At that moment, I understood that whatever judgments I’d made were wrong. I opened my heart to these girls, as they each trusted us with their true selves.

After listening to our leaders, we split up into small groups to share our own stories in a safe and honest environment. I felt such a connection with these girls as we each shared our deepest thoughts. Kelly described the pain she felt for constantly displeasing her parents. Caitlin, who was quite popular, surprised us as she confessed her lack of self-confidence and anxiety around others. And Ashley blew us all away when she pulled up her sleeves and showed us the scars where she had cut herself. We hugged and cried in support for one another, and I felt unified with each of them. When it was time again to join the rest of the girls, we embraced one another’s company by hugging, laughing and singing songs. We felt spiritually empowered and connected. This “cloud nine” feeling that we all experienced is known in Kairos history as the “kai-high.”

This experience opened my eyes to the diverse situations that people go through. It helped me to let go of that egocentric quality that we all naturally have. It also taught me to think before I judge, and ask the question, “Do I really know that person?” When the 3-day journey was over, we all returned from the “kai-high” to reality as stronger, wiser and more powerful women. Kairos truly showed me that “there is a story behind every face.”